The Brochure on An Only Child's Holiday Reflections - Make Your Own Day

They could have gotten a poinsettia plant, or a bunch of plastic holly to put out every year, or maybe a fricking wreath? 

Before I get into today’s topic, I want to read a couple of reviews that have been on Apple podcasts.  I’m very grateful for reviews.  Positive reviews especially!  If you haven’t already rated and reviewed this podcast, I hope you’ll consider doing so, and I’ll be making my way through all the reviews over the next episodes, so stay tuned to hear yours.  Don’t be shy! 

In no particular order, here’s the first one that shows on my end.  “I am an only child as well.  I relate to this podcast.  I lived some of these podcast stories.  Tracy is detailed in painting a picture of her stories in a compelling way.  She is candid and makes you laugh.  Her insights about relationships with parents makes you connect with her.  Thank you Tracy for sharing your stories.”

That one is from Moms, Moments and Martinis which is the code for the dearest woman Carla who along with Dolly, my friend since the 2nd grade, started their own podcast called, yes, you guessed it – Moms, Moments and Martinis.  Thank you Carla for your kind words and I’m glad you find something valuable in what I have to say!  And I hope you guys will check out their podcast, it's not on Apple yet, but I believe it's on Amazon, Spotify, and Audible now. Soon to be on Apple.

Here’s the second one – “Tracy Wallace is so funny. First episode I have listened to and now I need to download the other 49!  Question:  do you think I can use the ‘wrinkle release’ product on myself?  Maybe in the tub?”  

Well, now there's more than 49. So, this was a while ago, but this one is from Jami Thomas, who I’ve known a long time – since high school?  Or was it junior high?  I’m not sure, but Jami, thank you because I can’t hear the words, “Tracy Wallace is so funny,” enough!  And yes, we need to find a wrinkle release product we can use in the tub!  Good one!   

Thank you again for your reviews and next week we’ll hear a couple more.  In the meantime, don’t be shy!  Step on up and submit your review and I’ll read it on a future episode!  It means a lot and it also helps other people to find us.

Today I’m going to talk about the holidays.  Sometimes the holidays can be a tough time.  A tough time for a lot of people.  I know they have been in the past for me.  I was thinking about this the other day watching all the holiday movies, where a big family is usually trying to figure out how to celebrate Christmas together.  Family members coming from other places.  Multiple people sitting around the table.  There’s a kid’s table!  In my family, there were never that many people around the table.  The most?  It was five people.  Me, my parents, and one set of grandparents.  It could have been seven if both sets of grandparents would have joined in at the same time, but that was not to be.  I guess hatred wasn’t the word.  They didn’t HATE each other, but neither set of parents really embraced the person their child married, and it translated into cool distaste. Fun.  Not even really arguing, just silence.  The best of times.  Of course at the time, I didn’t realize all the dysfunctional dynamics.  I guess I sensed something was off, but wasn’t quite sure what it was.  I was just a kid hoping to get a present.  It was Christmas!!!  Where was Santa?  

I think there is a lot of underlying stress in our society to live up to expectations of what we see in the media, or on social media.  People getting great presents, or having the perfect family.  This isn’t always the reality right?  People are still out of work or struggling to make ends meet.  Maybe they have a job, but it's not a very good job. Just going to the grocery store in a tough experience.  When you finally check out it’s sticker shock time!  Prices are so much higher on everything now it seems.  And people are trying to keep up with the Joneses.  But the reality is, we’re all struggling in some way or another.  We’re all trying to get by and make ourselves and our loved ones happy.  

I will say that even now, I feel like there’s something magical about the season.  I don’t know what it is.  All the lights and the decorations?  The fact that people are in a joyful mood?  Some of the time? Or trying to be?  Wishing each other a Merry Christmas?  Happy Holidays?  But something more than that.  There’s just something to the season.  Of course there’s also all the hysteria too, right?  People driving frantically to buy that last present!  People stressing out about how they’ll pay for everything!  People overeating and thinking about starting a diet after New Years!  Ah, the fun of it all.  

But yeah, I sit and watch the holiday movies and wish now that my family had had a happy family dynamic.  A joyful dynamic.  A festive dynamic.  Neither set of grandparents ever decorated anything in their house.  I mean, at least when I was alive, at least when I was there to enjoy it, I mean, nothing.  Okay, I get it.  They were older.  Maybe not that much older than I am now though?  At least when I was a little kid?  But they could’ve gotten a poinsettia plant, or a bunch of plastic holly to put out every year, or maybe a fricking wreath?  I’m sure that even back in the day, the merchants tried to maximize their Christmas sales and had wreaths at the market.  Would that have been too much trouble?  The house or houses where Christmas died.  No thanks, we aren’t festive!  It’s really sad.  It’s not fun.  Maybe that’s why I really go way overboard now decorating.  I was looking at my front yard the other day and took a rough count of the lights and I think we have about 3,000 Christmas lights in total.  3,000!  Yeah.  Now THAT’S festive.  And it IS magical to sit and look at it all.  I love the twinkling lights.  I love to get up in the middle of the night to pee – I mean, I don’t LOVE to wake up to pee – and see the lights.  Multi-colored.  Beautiful.  And it all gives joy to OTHER people.  Not just to me.  Adults and kids alike stop or slow down in the car to look.  Yeah, that’s MY house, and MY decorating.  Merry Christmas!  

In the end, you have to make your own day.  That’s a phrase my friends and I came up with when I had the store.  You need to rely on yourself to make your own happiness.  Being an only child, I’m used to that.  But still I long for the experience of a big extended and dare I say? HAPPY family holiday gathering.  Wouldn’t that be like a dream?  A family working together to make really good food.  I mean, remember.  I come from a long line of bad cooks.  Sitting around the table enjoying each other?  Sitting around the living room watching a heartfelt movie, or reading stories to the kids?  I mean, having more than one kid! And opening presents Christmas morning with everyone drinking cocoa?  Yeah.  I don’t have that, and I never really had that.  But it doesn’t mean that I don’t enjoy or can’t enjoy the holiday as it is.  I just can’t compare and despair.  Compare myself to others and feel bad because I don’t live up to the norm.  

I hope that you have your own great holiday traditions, even if you have just yourself or a small group.  Don’t be sad that you don’t have that big family dynamic either.  And you can always latch on to the friends you have.  Maybe latch on is the wrong word.  I bet each of you have good friends who would love to include you in their own holiday traditions.  Ah the holidays.  We’ll get through it all.  Take care of yourself.  

Well, folks, that's all I've got for today. Next week, we're going to tackle another topic together.

I hope you'll join me.