The Brochure on Your One Wild and Precious Life

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? "

Today I want to talk about where we’re going.  Or wait, maybe where we’ve been.  It’s good to take a moment here and there to reassess your status, and what you’re doing.  This is our 80th episode!  Wow!  Cruising toward the 100th!   

Now for all the non-gardeners, I know I’ve talked a lot lately about my garden.  But as I’ve said before, “all the life lessons I needed to learn, I learned in my garden.”  And it’s true.  I’ve had a lot of time in the last year and a half or so to think and ponder on my life and how things have gone.  What I’ve accomplished, and what I still want to accomplish.  And my garden, the front and back yards have taught me a lot about all these things.  So every time I tell a story about a tree or planting something, I’ve been weaving in something else.  I know I promised you all a better way to navigate adulting.  I think I’ve done that, although sometimes it’s been a more indirect way around to it than you might expect.  

In one of my episodes I told you about our big redwood tree out front and how people would always stop and ask me about it if I was there.  I’m happy to report this hasn’t slowed down.  People asking about it, that is.  I was out there the other day when we were getting ready for one of the upcoming rain storms – the atmospheric river – and Bill was sitting on the porch.  So he was witness to all this.  We had a visit from the FedEx truck and the driver took the opportunity to ask me about it.  He said that it was the best tree he has seen in the area, it was actually his favorite tree, and I guess as a delivery driver, he sees a lot of trees!  We felt good about that. 

Then a few minutes later another man stopped by while walking his dog, a big standard poodle.  I hadn’t seen either of them before.  You know, sometimes in the neighborhood it’s easier to recognize people by their dogs.  The guy with the big brown dog and the little brown dog together.  Or the guy with the two dachshunds.  Or the woman with the two German Shepherds.  And on and on.  People that I don’t necessarily know that well, or even talk to (or they don’t talk to me) but regular neighborhood walkers.  I guess people know me by the little brown dog who is always wearing a sweater or a shirt, and a pink halter.  Anyway, the man with the poodle also asked me several questions and remarked that it was an extraordinary tree.    

No matter who stops and when they stop I try to be kind and treat them like they are the first one who has ever told me it’s an amazing tree.  People ask the same questions.  How old is it?  What kind of tree is it?  And then there are other comments and observations they make about it.  

It reminded me in a way of being friends with Gina.  Now hold on.  Having been friends with her for 32 years was a great experience for sure.  We had so much fun, and it’s hard to believe she’ll be gone six years in May.  Our tree is something of a celebrity I guess and so was Gina.  I was always on her sidelines, like the tree.  Yes, it’s a beautiful tree.  Yes, she was the first female music promoter in Los Angeles.  Yes, it’s an amazing tree.  Yes, Gina is beautiful and no she doesn’t have a boyfriend.  I would watch on the side as her wing man (wing woman?) as men admired her, just as people admire the tree.  Seriously, you might not see a similarity between Gina and a big tree.  You haven’t seen the tree in person.  They both get or have gotten an extreme amount of attention.  And I guess, to a certain extent, I feel like the tree's wingman as well.

Bill and I finally watched the film, “Nyad” last night about swimmer Diana Nyad’s journey to swim between Florida and Cuba without stopping.  It stars Annette Bening and Jodi Foster, and I should mention that it chronicles Nyad’s attempts to swim this route when she’s in her 60s.  You go girl!  With her best friend and coach Bonnie by her side, she trains and tries and fails a few times.  At one point in the film, the two are talking and Bonnie, her friend, says, “you’ve been my person since we were like 30 and we do things together, we do fun shit, boring shit, hard shit.  I tried doing my own thing and it just wasn’t the same.  The point is, we’re getting old together.  We’re getting old, and if you die, I wanna be the last person you see.”  I was surprised I didn’t just lose it right then and there.  Of course it reminded me about Gina and our friendship, and how even though she’s gone, our lives are still hopelessly intertwined for the rest of MY life.  I am just here going on without her.  We always talked about growing old together, so the conversation was very relevant for me.  

And so I’m reminded that even in the smallest ways, there’s a lesson and a reminder about how to live our lives, how to better live our lives all around us, almost every day and that qualifies as better ways to navigate adulting.  Nyad the film is a true story about the guts and courage it takes to achieve your goal.  Guts?  That’s an understatement.  Not only coming up against sharks, but the sheer perseverance of swimming continually for like 60 hours?  It motivates me to keep walking.  I’ve been walking the dog every day, and at some point I feel like my back is screaming at me so badly I can’t stand vertical another moment.  Seriously?  I have to get tougher.  I really do.  

Another tie-in for me in the film was when they referenced the Mary Oliver quote, ““Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”  Years ago, a friend I met through my job at the time passed away, and at her memorial service, they gave everyone a crystal heart with that etched on the front.  The gal who passed away planned these gifts and was in her 50s at the time of her passing. She died after a long struggle with colon cancer.  I didn’t know her too well, but she had given me advice here and there over the years that had helped me immensely, and that final gift has really stuck with me.  

And so sometimes where we’re going is dictated by where we’ve been.  Yes?  You are the culmination of all your experiences.  Sometimes it’s better to plan your course.  Sometimes as I’ve found, there are things that are out of your control, but you can still learn from them, appreciate them, and grow as a result.  At least that’s what I try to do, every day.  Take it as it comes.  Learn from it.  I’m still learning, all the time.  

Well, that’s all I’ve got for today.  Now I should probably go read something and catch up on that stack of mail in the entryway.  One thing I’m not good about is learning how to go through the mail every day!  It may not be something in the category of wild or precious but it’s still necessary.  Next week we’ll tackle another topic together.  I hope you’ll join me.