Tracy : 0:00

This week, I'm revisiting the time we were hit by a drunk driver in Las Vegas. I hope you'll listen. This was a tough episode for me to record and it's tough every time I listen to it. It's hard for me not to mark the anniversary without remembering all that we went through subsequently, but also be so very grateful for surviving. Angels were definitely on our shoulders that day. Welcome to the Only Child Diaries podcast, eptember 2017.

Tracy : 0:54

Bill and I were vacationing in Las Vegas for a week. Thursday the 7th is a day I will never forget. We had been having a great time and it was really wonderful. We were finally able to get away. Bill's doctor had given the okay for us to travel six months after his very painful neck fusion surgery, and so we drove to Las Vegas, which is where we got married one of our favorite destinations. I remember we asked the doctor if there was anything we shouldn't do and he said we asked the doctor if there was anything we shouldn't do and he said don't ever get rear ended. It would be really bad for his neck. I've learned that when people say things like this, you need to watch out. Maybe it's like the universe is coming for you. Is it a premonition, I don't know. It was one of our best days ever. My husband even got his first royal flush in video poker, and then we decided to go to the outlet mall by Mandalay Bay. We found some really great things. I'm not into designer stuff very much, but I bought my first Kate Spade bag a tote bag with cats on it. We were just having such a great time being together and not having any worries. We loaded up our rental car to head back to our hotel for dinner With Bill.

Tracy : 2:16

I was always very concerned about his neck and what the doctor had said, and so I was always really careful about driving just driving. In general, I'm always careful. I was always scanning the rear view mirror and looking side to side, especially on the highway route from Los Angeles. That day it was just starting to get dark. I remember coming out of the driveway of the outlet mall onto Las Vegas Boulevard and not seeing anyone to my left for quite a distance. I turned right from the driveway and was slowly rolling towards the red light ahead at Warm Springs Road and bam, I felt such a force from behind. I had never felt in any other crash. I never heard any brakes screeching, I just felt the impact. There was so much force behind the impact that our car just kept moving forward and forward, so very quickly.

Tracy : 3:14

We were driving a rented 2016 Nissan Altima and the airbags deployed, but also the windows rolled down automatically and the front seats reclined. These are both safety features I learned later, but between the incredible forward motion, seats going back and the airbags in my face, it was an incredibly disorienting experience. I rode horses for 25 years and I've fallen off galloping horses. I've been in jewelry store robberies with people firing their guns, but this was by far one of the most terrifying events of my life. I had no control over where my body was going. Luckily, we both had our seatbelts fastened, but during the time of our car flying forward and it hit at least one car in front of us too and we got hit on the side again I remember thinking to myself my body is being flung around like a ragdoll. I don't know when this is going to stop, but I don't think I'm going to be alive when it does stop. I honestly thought I would just be dead.

Tracy : 4:42

And then it stopped and everything was quiet for a few seconds. I think I blacked out a little during the crash because I felt like our car rolled over. It didn't. People started running towards our car and the other cars. I asked Bill if he was okay and he asked if I was okay. We were both conscious. That was a good thing.

Tracy : 4:55

A man came up to the car window and asked if there was anything he could do and I wanted to say can you take back the last five minutes? Instead I started yelling call 911. Then we heard the sirens, and the fire department and the police were there to help assess my husband and put him in an ambulance. The words of his doctor saying don't ever get rear-ended kept playing over and over in my head. There were people to help Bill out of the car and me too. The EMTs put cervical collars on both of us, which now I know are extremely uncomfortable, and we were off to University Medical Center, or UMC as local people call it. We had to leave all of our belongings in the car, all of our lovely purchases. The firemen said they would take care of it. They said don't worry.

Tracy : 5:56

Being in an accident like this, you are thinking about the support of friends and family. Your mind instantly goes to wanting to be supported and nurtured by those you know. But we were 300 miles away from most everyone we knew. My thoughts immediately went to my friend, betty, and her husband, who live in Las Vegas. I had met Betty at the blackjack table on one of our visits and we had instantly bonded over the bad hands we were getting. I love to play blackjack and I can sit for hours and stay, mostly, even if not win a little. I love talking to people from different places. Betty and I had connected on Facebook and kept in touch. I messaged Betty in the ambulance and told her what had happened.

Tracy : 6:50

They put Bill on a gurney, but I was sitting up. I was still in shock and incredibly worried about Bill. In no time at all, it seemed. She responded that they would be at the hospital. I found out later they had been at dinner and picked up and left their party. Those are true friends, good people.

Tracy : 7:13

The hospital staff ended up putting me on one side of the ER and Bill on the other. I couldn't see him and I didn't know how he was doing, but they let Betty into the back and she was able to go back and forth between us. Her husband, rick, stayed out in the waiting room. I was placed across from a man who had fallen off his motorcycle and injured his arm pretty bad. This is where not being squeamish from the sight of blood anymore came in handy. It was pretty messy in there. The UMC staff was incredible. They were kind, they were professional, they were efficient.

Tracy : 7:55

Much later, a police officer who had been at the crash site came to see us. He returned my driver's license and asked some questions. Betty stood next to me while he told us that he thought from the looks of our car, that the driver was going about 80 miles per hour when we were hit. I think I've heard that our car traveled about 75 feet after impact. It felt like so much more. It was just a lot to take in all. At the same time, we asked him some questions too, like was the driver who hit us drunk? I guess he couldn't really say, because all he answered was there was something going on there. Betty kept updating me that Bill was doing okay and that he was worried about me and that he loved me, and I kept telling her to return the message back to him.

Tracy : 8:51

For the time being, we both checked out and were released after having every imaginable test known to mankind, or at least known to an ER. Our friends drove us back to the hotel. It was about 2 am but there was no way we could sleep. I kept crying and if I started to doze off, I jolted myself awake, screaming. We ended up having to stay an additional two days because I was still so dizzy from the crash. I just wanted to rest. The ER doctors told us not to drive for several days.

Tracy : 9:25

Anyhow, when we went to the Hertz holding yard, where they had towed what was left of the rental car, we had to retrieve our belongings. Well, we first found the car and we were able to see it in the light of day. Wow, it was amazing to see it. Then we finally found a security guard who didn't know how it all worked. He directed us over to the main rental yard and let's say, this was a huge compound. It was part of the airport.

Tracy : 9:54

Finally, we were told by a supervisor, in a very rude manner, that all of our belongings must have been stolen, and they weren't responsible. It was all very upsetting stolen and they weren't responsible. It was all very upsetting. We had at least $500 worth of purchases in that car. We did, in the end, get everything back the staff that was there when the car came in, had secured everything in their offices. But it was just one more traumatic thing we didn't need to go through. Our nerves were raw.

Tracy : 10:22

We filled out a short form detailing what happened. I had also called the night of the crash and told them what happened to their car. Then the representative at the rental car counter ended up giving me another rental car and said thank you for choosing Hertz. It was like he was on autopilot and wasn't taking into consideration what had happened to the last car they gave us. We had to laugh at that. I felt like saying well, I'll try to bring this one back in one piece. No matter what happens to you, there's always room for laughter. We also went back to the scene of the crash and we looked at the place where we had ended up. It was pretty easy to find because there was a pile of sand where the cars had deposited all their internal fluids, shall we say, and we were able to see the spacing from the driveway to the intersection and it was good to see the space. It was also hard to see the space again and it was good to have perspective, in the light of day, on what had happened For months after the crash.

Tracy : 11:43

Driving, especially on the freeway, was very stressful for me. Any screech of brakes or someone tailgating me too closely sent my blood pressure skyrocketing and my heart racing. I would often burst into tears. I ended up finding a therapist to try to work through my PTSD, which helped a little, but he was not the best therapist in my opinion. He would often get my name wrong in our sessions, calling me Stacy and forgetting some of the main points of my story. It was frustrating, to say the least. Anyway, I don't get upset anymore hearing screeching brakes, but when people follow me too closely I still get nervous.

Tracy : 12:27

There was a lot of business that had to be taken care of around the crash Talking to the insurance company, getting us both to our doctors to make sure we were okay and just discussing it. In general, I'll say that talking about the crash for a long time would result in me crying. It was just too much to deal with. I had the usual stiffness and pain associated with a crash. We checked in with Bill's spinal surgeon and he said that everything looked okay but that sometimes injuries showed up down the road. He wanted Bill to rest for a while before returning to physical therapy to get rechecked in a few months. The driver's insurance ended up paying for the rental car. So did they accept responsibility? Did my insurance have the police report? Was there a blood alcohol test taken and what were the results? It became increasingly frustrating because I couldn't get a copy of the police report through my insurance company. At one point the adjuster said that the report didn't really matter. My mind was blown. Didn't matter? Bill and I ended up going back to Las Vegas and stood in line to order a copy of the report ourselves, only to be told that any information about any blood alcohol test was private information under HIPAA. Mind blown again Then.

Tracy : 13:58

Bill wanted to go back to work. He was feeling pretty good but he needed a doctor's approval. It was now early December. We would always go to every checkup and they would take an x-ray first. I remember the doctor came in with his assistant and just kind of looked at us. He told us that one vertebrae had shifted in Bill's neck, most likely from the accident, and that Bill would need another neck fusion surgery. The disappointment that I felt alone, but then watching my husband get the news, was devastating, knowing what he had gone through the first time. Well, it was more than I could bear to think of us going through it a second time, and all because someone made a bad choice that night, had way too much to drink and got behind the wheel of a car. The range of negative emotions indescribable.

Tracy : 14:53

In the meantime I started doing some research. We received a letter from the state of Nevada saying that we might be called as witnesses in the state's case against this person. She had pled not guilty to a misdemeanor DUI. I started reading more about the laws in Nevada. I learned that if she was found guilty of the misdemeanor it would only be on her record for a year, but if a serious injury had occurred as a result of a crash, but especially a DUI, the charge could be upgraded to a felony. That would be on her record for seven years.

Tracy : 15:33

We had received a letter from the Victim's Assistance Division and so I called the number for our advocate. The letter said to call if you have questions. I heard a recording that told me our advocate was busy. It said to leave a message and just wait, don't call again. He would get back to us when he could. So I left a message but I didn't have much faith. Bill had the surgery about a month later. I remember he really didn't even go out in the car with me if he didn't absolutely have to. It was a good thing, because after the surgery the surgeon told me that the vertebrae was literally hanging by a thread and was so close to giving out. Bill would have been paralyzed.

Tracy : 16:20

When I experience a moment like that, I'm, of course, shocked, maybe a little saddened, that it even had to come is, watch local TV stations for any amount of time or drive around town to see the attorney billboards and you start to get the sense that this is a big business in town. Well, I still hadn't heard from the victim's advocate and, not being one to take silence as an answer, I tried calling the public defender's office to see who was handling the case against the woman who hit us. It was always Nevada versus the driver. They told me to contact my victim's advocate. All this business with the state was completely separate from our dealings with insurance and our own attorney. Our attorney had his own work to do and really didn't seem to want to get involved with or advise me about the driver at all. I understood it was two completely separate fights.

Tracy : 17:33

This was about the time I contacted MAD or Mothers Against Drunk Driving. If you aren't familiar with them, they are a nonprofit organization and have chapters across the country. I called the Las Vegas office and spoke to a lovely woman who was not only kind but a tremendous amount of help. They unfortunately have a lot of experience with this kind of thing. She advised me to contact the supervisor of the victim's advocate office. Why hadn't I thought of that?

Tracy : 18:10

Let me just say that this whole thing was a lot of work and a lot of stress. I felt like I was constantly going up against the grain, not getting a lot of help or positive feedback, but I knew I was doing the right thing. There was something in me that was pushing for something I didn't quite yet understand. I was driven by the fact that my husband and I had suffered needlessly. I eventually got through to the supervisor that Mad suggested and this finally started to set things in motion. I kept having to be assertive and push, push, push, but once I had her attention and she listened to me, she apologized for letting us down, for the system letting us down Soon.

Tracy : 18:59

I would be having a conversation with the man who was going to work on prosecuting the case. Wow, I thought success. Did it have to be this hard? The first time I spoke to the Nevada prosecutor who would be working on our case was my birthday, march 22nd. I mean, the irony is not lost on me. I mean the irony is not lost on me. He was kind and took time to listen. He asked questions and said that he could definitely get the charge up to a felony. When I finally got off the phone, yes, I felt emotionally drained again, but I felt some measure of closure was on its way. Gosh, was I way off? Closure was way down the road.

Tracy : 19:55

The prosecutor and I had several conversations over the course of the case. He was the one who had finally found the drunk driver's blood alcohol level 0.25%. That's about three times the legal limit. It was July of that year that would be 2018, when we were at one of Bill's physical therapy appointments. As the team would put Bill through his paces, I would sit nearby and cheer him on. It was a large open room with tables lining both sides of the room where patients would be working on their exercises.

Tracy : 20:31

I had thought in the back of my mind that our crash was so bad that the driver would never, ever drink and drive again. She would never put anyone else's life in danger. When the prosecutor called me that day, we were talking about the case and then towards the end of our conversation he told me something that just blew me away. He was saying that for most people when they get their first DUI, that scares the crap out of them so they straighten up and don't drink and drive again. But for a small percentage of offenders the serious alcoholics they will drink and drive again and get caught. Offhandedly. That she did have a second DUI about two months after our crash with a child in her car.

Tracy : 21:28

I had walked outside of the physical therapy office so I wouldn't bother anyone inside. When I heard this, I let out something like a yelp. I started to have a panic attack. I did my best to contain myself. I felt like a boulder had hit me. After we hung up, I went back inside and sat down next to my husband's table. He was in the middle of the room doing a floor exercise with one of the staff. I started to replay our crash in my mind and this news of the subsequent DUI, and I started feeling like I was going to lose it. But I was in a large room full of people and I didn't want to freak anyone out, so I grabbed a pillow and I cried into that.

Tracy : 22:17

Hearing about the second DUI made me relive our whole crash. It made me feel like it was happening all over again and that she could easily go on to gravely injure herself. It still gets me. I couldn't stop crying for 20 minutes. I couldn't even breathe. I was inconsolable. It was like it had just happened to us all over again. When Bill came back to his table, at first he didn't fully understand what was going on and when I explained we were both so upset. Until I was recording the episode I didn't fully realize I was going to get upset. It still gets to me and I'm pretty sure it will always be a trigger.

Tracy : 23:27

It wasn't until we met in person with the prosecutor that we learned the details of that second DUI. We traveled back to Las Vegas again for a short vacation and I asked if we could meet the prosecutor at his office and speak with him about the case. This seemed like a good opportunity for all of us to talk about the accident together, for him to ask us any questions he might have and for us to all get clear on what would happen going forward. As I mentioned, I spoke to him a lot on the phone and shared it all with Bill, but nothing really takes the place of a direct conversation, especially in person. This was the first time we had the chance to meet our victim's advocate in person as well. He was so kind and so calm about everything. He obviously was good at his job of being an advocate. I just think that there are too many victims and not enough advocates. I want to add in here that I'm intentionally not using any names because I want to preserve the anonymity of everyone involved.

Tracy : 24:47

I'll say this there comes a time in your life when you reach an age when you realize that being older isn't always being wiser. You meet people who are younger, who are exemplary at what they do, either because of their drive, their spirit or their general life force. The prosecutor for us was one of those people Obviously young, but so very good at what he does. Obviously young but so very good at what he does, so very committed to working in the vehicular section of the Las Vegas District Attorney's Office. We were both impressed. That day. We talked for almost two hours about our case, about what happened to us about the drunk driver and about what would happen going forward.

Tracy : 25:43

We found out that the drunk driver's second DUI, two months after our crash, wasn't the result of another car crash. She had been observed at a gas station around noontime, acting erratically with her baby in the back seat. Two women, who were customers, had asked her if she was okay and she replied they're out of gas, which seemed a little odd since the women were buying gas as well. The women called 911 and ended up following her. She didn't hit anyone, miraculously, although she did come close to hitting a motorcycle. The police stopped her and the report showed that her breathalyzer read an amazing 0.49. The prosecutor told us that at 0.50, you are basically dead because your body can't absorb any more alcohol. And this was at lunchtime, and this was at lunchtime. For this offense, she had immediately pled guilty to a misdemeanor DUI and misdemeanor child endangerment charge.

Tracy : 27:11

Our crash didn't show up because it hadn't been resolved yet and because she had pled not guilty. If our crash had shown up in the records, her outcome that day would have been much different, much more severe. But because she had pled not guilty to our crash, it wasn't showing up. It fell through the cracks. It wasn't showing up. It fell through the cracks, so to speak.

Tracy : 27:45

We talked about our case and how things might work. The prosecutor was always very respectful, asking what we wanted to see as the final outcome. Did we want jail time for the driver? This was always a very tough question for me and for Bill. We don't see ourselves as judges or passing judgment on others. We were just hoping, I think, for the best through the process and foreclosure. We wanted to put this all behind us. I remember some of our friends had said, yes, she deserves to be in jail. But when you were faced with the direct question, at least for me and Bill, it just it wasn't so easy.

Tracy : 28:31

The next decision that we needed to make was whether or not to wait for a jury trial. Bill's injuries didn't show up right away, as we suspected. This would be an issue if we waited for a jury trial. But there were other factors too. Would the police officer still be around in four to five years Because it would take that long to go to a full jury trial? Would we want to wait that long for all this to be settled? I realized that this was really up to my husband and what he felt comfortable with the crash had affected his health the most, although, yes, it had affected both of our mental health as well. But I knew that Bill had to feel very sure that, whatever we decided he was comfortable with.

Tracy : 29:23

The other option would be offering her a plea deal. In this way we would assure that we got a felony conviction, although it wouldn't be a felony DUI. The prosecutor suggested going for a felony reckless driving with a misdemeanor DUI. I mean, all the details are kind of lost on me here, but a felony would still be on her record for the full seven years and if she got another DUI it would be immediate jail time, even if it was a misdemeanor. It would be somewhat more appealing to the drunk driver and her lawyer because it would still be a lesser charge from the felony DUI. If she accepted this, she would plead guilty and the sentencing hearing would be scheduled. We would both be able to give our victim's impact statements in court before the judge before he passed sentence.

Tracy : 30:23

In the end, that's what Bill decided he felt most comfortable with, although, let's face it, comfortable really isn't the correct word here. There's nothing comfortable about any of this. In the meantime, bill's employer asked if he could return to work. Bill had been building up his strength and he was resting up. All of a sudden, one of the other staff up a quit and his boss called when we were in Philadelphia, where I was speaking at a conference, to ask if Bill could work that day. Bill likes to tell the story that he got some good luck from throwing a penny on Ben Franklin's grave while we were touring the city. People say, if you toss a penny on the grave and it lands heads up, you'll have good luck for a year. We were certainly due for some good luck. Finally, we got the date of the sentencing Valentine's Day 2019.

Tracy : 31:22

Unfortunately, it became clearly evident to me that I wasn't going to be able to travel to Vegas for the sentencing. I had started out sick at the end of 2018 with a mild bronchitis and got my first round of antibiotics. Then it turned out I had strep throat. Then I got my second round of antibiotics. Then, when I finished that, I still had a bad sore throat and I got antibiotics round three. Well, january turned into February and I still didn't feel very good. My energy level was very low. I was trying to push through, get into the office as much as I possibly could, which wasn't very much. I really wasn't eating that great. I had been steadily gaining weight since my dad passed away when I still wasn't rebounding. After yet another week, the doctor suggested getting blood work done. Imagine my surprise when the results came back that I had mono, also known as the Epstein-Barr virus. It all made sense now. A lot of people made fun of me that I had what was known as the kissing disease in high school.

Tracy : 32:43

Ah yes, always trying to keep it light, I was staying home, sleeping a lot and working from home as I could. I would try to go out for about an hour a day to get us food or do one errand. I would come back feeling like I had been out driving and walking around for 20 hours. It was like trying to run through water. It was incredibly draining and very hard to lift my head off the pillow. Sometimes there was no way we could travel to Vegas now for the sentencing. I asked if we could get it, even though there was nothing I could do. It was disappointing for sure. Sometimes your body just doesn't cooperate with what you want to accomplish.

Tracy : 33:34

Our new date was now Thursday, may 16th 2019, 20 months after the crash, it started to become more real. We were going to drive out the day before and the week or so before I started to give serious consideration to my statement in court. I wanted to make sure that I said all the right things, that I covered all the points. I wanted to have it printed out in front of me and not leave it to memory. I started writing it and kept working on it, some every day. I was kind of OCD about it. Bill, on the other hand, ended up going pretty much by the seat of his pants no-transcript for Vegas that our guy was on leave and we would have one of the other prosecutors handling our case. I stopped breathing. I had spent so much time, we had both spent so much time with him. How could someone else just slide in at the last minute and do a decent job with the case? I asked if we could talk with the new prosecutor and a phone call took place before we got on the road for Vegas. We were already so stressed out about everything. Well, our fears and our frustration melted away. This substitute actually had seniority over our guy and it was like she had been with us the whole way through the process. It turned out that our guy well, his wife had just had a baby, so I couldn't fault him for taking time off.

Tracy : 35:40

The next day, we dressed in our somber and serious business attire and proceeded to the Las Vegas courthouse. After going through security, we found the victim's advocate reception office and waited for our advocate. I can't speak for Bill, but I was a nervous wreck. Our advocate appeared and was so calm and he talked us through everything. When we did arrive at the courtroom, I briefly caught sight of who I thought was the defendant. We had never seen the driver at the crash scene. She was dressed very nicely in a plain navy blue dress.

Tracy : 36:19

Our new prosecutor showed up and we spoke briefly. One of my questions the day before on the phone was had she had any other DUIs anywhere else before these two in Nevada? She now reported that a DUI had shown up a few years back in another state, but there weren't any details because of the time that had lapsed since then. She and our advocate talked to us about how things would work and what would happen, and then they escorted us into the courtroom and showed us where to sit, on the opposite side from the defendant, her attorney and anyone else that was with her. Now, we've all seen courtrooms on TV, right, but what was before us was very different.

Tracy : 37:09

The jury box was filled with inmates, some in navy blue and some in orange prison jumpsuits. They all had shackles on their hands and feet. All the inmates were men. On their hands and feet All the inmates were men and I mean naturally they looked somewhat dejected and very serious. This was the majority of our audience, besides the court clerks and the court reporter. We sat through about five to 10 cases once the judge appeared, so we both got a sense of what he was like. Then it was our turn. Our prosecutor stood up along with the defendant and her attorney, and both attorneys had the chance to address the judge.

Tracy : 37:57

Then the defendant had a chance to address the court. She spoke from the heart and she talked about how her dad was an alcoholic and how she felt this affected her. She told the court that she had relinquished her driver's license. She talked about how she had hoped one day to go into the legal profession herself. She turned and spoke directly to us and apologized for the crash.

Tracy : 38:24

This all was a difficult situation, but one that we had been working up to for months. I remember holding her gaze as she spoke and looking her in the eye. The whole time I tried to maintain a look not of anger or judgment, or even acceptance or forgiveness, but just absorbing the information she was conveying. Everyone who knows me knows I'm an empath. I'm a big sap, okay. I feel things deeply and have sympathy for people and their issues, no matter what, sometimes too much. This was rough, naturally, at first I started to feel sorry for her. I could see the situation from her side. I felt as if she had learned her lesson. But then I stopped myself and I said to myself no, don't go there. That's what she's trying to make you think. I had to keep in mind all that we had experienced, all that we had been through.

Tracy : 39:41

It was my turn to speak. Bill and I had discussed which one of us would go first and had gone back and forth with this decision, but in the end, again, I left it up to him to choose. It was really more about him healing from this experience. Right, I had written and edited my speech painstakingly. I had angsted over it and had friends read it for clarity and cohesiveness. It was several pages long. The judge, oh, he was so patient with me in allowing me to have my say. I did add, speaking directly to the defendant, that I appreciated her words, but the fact remained that she put us all at risk At some points during my speech. Naturally, I was moved to tears, no surprise. I tried to ignore the gaze of the inmates to my left. What were they thinking? I tried to focus on the matter at hand. Then it was Bill's turn.

Tracy : 40:56

I had worked hard to find his clothing that was courtroom appropriate, since Bill's wardrobe consists mostly of t-shirts and hoodies. Bill's wardrobe consists mostly of t-shirts and hoodies. I had gone shopping and found him a long-sleeved Ralph Lauren navy shirt. Recently I also gifted him with a beautiful navy zip cardigan sweater that he hadn't worn yet. It wasn't necessarily his style, but I knew he'd look good in it. We paired the two together and he ended up looking like a kind, casual, slightly younger version of a Marcus Welby.

Tracy : 41:34

That day, while he had been angry through most of this process over the outcome of the crash and how could anyone blame him of the crash and how could anyone blame him he stood up and spoke kindly and compassionately about the crash itself, his surgery, the pain and how he felt about it. He ended up sounding like a version of Mr Rogers telling about the dangers of driving drunk. He showed concern for the defendant herself and he wrapped it all up by saying that he felt it was his responsibility to be a voice for the people who could be victims of a drunk driver or were victims of a drunk driver who didn't survive. It was a strong message. I was so proud of him. Then he returned to his seat beside me. In her remarks the defendant had said she never had a DUI before these two, but the prosecutor had found that DUI before she moved to Nevada. While it wasn't verbalized in court, it was shared in writing to the judge.

Tracy : 42:51

After Bill's statement, the judge started to speak, and at first he seemed to me as if he would let her go with probation. I had decided going into this that whatever the outcome was, I was going to be okay with it. Well then he started to talk about our crash, but also about her subsequent DUI with her child in the car, and he called that unconscionable. It was then that I saw the bailiff slowly and very quietly walk from his post at the back of the courtroom to stand behind the defendant. The judge continued to speak and his tone was getting more serious. He told the defendant that she was sentenced to 12 to 48 months in jail for her crime.

Tracy : 43:46

Immediately there was a loud wail from the other side of the courtroom. The bailiff's hands moved forward and took the defendant's hands behind her back and handcuffed her. Her knees started to buckle and she yelled out no. As the bailiff led her towards the door to the back room, she looked back to the source of the wailing, but not at us. Our victim's advocate told us to sit still and we were both fine with that. The wailing continued on and on and it sounded like a woman. I thought her mother, but we were told later it was her husband. It took some time for them to calm him down and have him exit from the courtroom, and then they didn't want us to encounter him in the hallway. So we stayed put for about 15 minutes.

Tracy : 44:38

With the buildup to this day and the emotion we put into the hearing, the wailing and her reaction, it was a lot to take in, a lot to process. When we were finally able to leave the courtroom, we first had a quick debrief with the prosecutor. She immediately looked at our faces and said you didn't put her in jail? The judge did, of course. We both knew that, oh, but it was certainly a good reminder. We thanked her for all her efforts on our behalf. We were both a little shell-shocked. Our advocate took us back to the victim's office waiting room and we filled out some paperwork More paperwork there's always paperwork.

Tracy : 45:29

Bill and I returned to our hotel and changed into more casual clothing. We took a nap. We were exhausted. Then we got something to eat and went about our day. The next morning we woke up and we both just felt stunned. It was still a lot to process. I know we both should have been happy, but happy wasn't necessarily the emotion that we felt. Of course, it wasn't our decision. I had to keep reminding myself that it was the decision we had been hoping for. Yes, that she would be protected from harming herself and other people, but that didn't mean it was, overall, a pleasant experience. We could start to put it behind us, though, and that was a good thing. It had hung over our heads for a long time, and this was the beginning of us moving on.

Tracy : 46:37

She served 12 months before going on parole for a year. We knew it would never be the full 48 months a year. We knew it would never be the full 48 months. We received some small restitution payments through the system and our attorney was able to get all of our medical bills settled and find a little bit of money for us to keep. It wasn't a lot, but it was something. We would have gladly given all the money back if we could have just not experienced any of it.

Tracy : 47:11

I should say that back in 2017, when the mass shooting took place across from Mandalay Bay in Las Vegas on October 1st not even a month after our crash we felt for all the victims and the staff at UMC University Medical Center, where we had gone after our crash. The shooting took place so close to our crash site it was less than a mile. It turned out that even one of my high school classmates lost her niece that night. She had been at the concert with her sister. On a subsequent trip to Las Vegas, we visited the healing garden that was created in memory of the victims. It's an emotional experience to see the photos of the victims and the memories left there by family and friends.

Tracy : 48:17

I said it before, but since these events, the words ring truer to me than ever before. Every day is a gift. Since the crash, I recognize its anniversary as something like a gratitude day so grateful we survived. It could have been so much different. Every day is a gift. Well, folks, that's all I've got for today. That's the story of our drunk driver crash. Next week, we'll visit a lighter subject. It's time, right? I hope you'll join me. If you like this episode. Please follow the Only Child Diaries podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on and consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page Only Child Diaries or Facebook Only Child Diaries Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Tracy Wallace and these are the Only Child Diaries.