
The Only Child Diaries Podcast
The Only Child Diaries Podcast
The Brochure on Insights
Recently I questioned if my self-analysis was correct. Was my insight meter in good shape? I've always thought my instincts, my insights were good. But a recent experience made me question that, and if I did all I could. This week I'm discussing that very topic, and also not having regrets. No matter what you do, it's important to do what you need to do so that you don't have lingering regrets down the line.
For the Only Child Diaries:
Check us out on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/onlychilddiariespodcast/
or
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/onlychilddiaries/
or
Threads
https://www.threads.net/@onlychilddiaries
and now on
Bluesky
@onlychilddiaries.bsky.social
You've offered your talents, you've offered your heart, and if those things aren't accepted, then you shouldn't have any regrets. Welcome to the Only Child Diaries podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life, that you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulting, while doing so with humor and light. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries podcast.
Tracy:Today, I'm going to talk about insight, having insight, getting insight, stuff like that. Do you have insight into situations around you? Do you want to have more insight? Is it something that you even think about? In general, I would say that I feel like I have pretty good insight into situations that I'm involved with, people that I'm involved with, but recently a relationship, shall I say, with a group of people ended and, on reflecting back on it over the last year, I realized that I felt like I didn't have insight or as much insight as I should have had, and I learned a lot in the process. Let me explain.
Tracy:If you're a regular listener, you might have heard the episode where I talked about a job interview process, really, because it wasn't just one interview. I had interviewed for this one job for about two months and subsequently I was turned down for the job. And subsequently I was turned down for the job. I was one of three candidates and I felt as confident as I could possibly have felt that I was going to get the job. And when I didn't get it I was pretty sad. I felt like it was the wrong decision. But then, about three months later, after the passing of our horse, dallas, I heard back from the main woman that I had been dealing with, who shared with me that the candidate that they had hired had left. And was I still interested Now?
Tracy:Initially I was a little hesitant because I wanted to know why this person had left. Right, what was wrong? And I asked that question and I was told that, given this job was part-time, he had wanted to. Well, he realized that he needed a full-time job to support himself and his family, which at the time I accepted that answer. But looking back on it later, I questioned it because he knew going in that it was part-time and there's no way that he could have supported a family on that one job right. Maybe he had other part-time jobs or another part-time job and maybe something happened with that. So I guess I didn't give it too much thought right away. I started the job and things were going along pretty well, but then I started to realize that, yes, but then I started to realize that, yes, there were some issues with the job I was working remotely in.
Tracy:Another state of working in offices is that you can still have conflicts right, working remotely, you can still have personality issues even I mean, not that that was what it was necessarily but you can still have disagreements over job responsibilities and job duties and how things are done. Well, I came into this job with literally three decades of experience in fundraising. My advice and my thoughts and ideas weren't always taken seriously, and that was a little troubling, because the people that I was dealing with initially especially one person who was my boss didn't have anywhere close to the experience that I had. Okay, but fine, that's fine. Part of my job as a fundraiser is to explain and educate on how things work in fundraising, because it's not always necessarily an intuitive process. An intuitive process, it's just not. People feel uneasy about asking, especially for money, but just asking for things in general. I get it. I mean, come on, what are the top three fears in life? Public speaking, death and asking for money. So it's right up there, anyway, okay.
Tracy:So time went on and you know it's only part-time anyway, right. Time went on and then in the summer there was really a catastrophic event and a lot of things changed within the organization in a very short time and almost everyone resigned in that short period of time. Now I well, looking back on it, I should have resigned as well, I think, but I decided to stay mostly because I thought I could be helpful. I didn't have a lot of history with the organization, but I had some history and I thought that that could be useful to the people that came in after me. Nobody really had that history or that information that I had, and after going through the period of time in my last job where my boss died suddenly, I realized that there would be a lot of questions and it was going to be a rocky period. I thought I could stay and help in some way. I think that I did. But at the same time things were going to change and change is okay. I'm okay with change. Sometimes things have to change to survive. Things have to change to persevere. That's very true. Not everybody's comfortable with change and of course it depends on the type of change.
Tracy:Shall we say I've learned a lot, or I've learned some, about the first period of time that I worked there, about some of the backstory, and I realized that, well, I guess there was no way that I could have known some of the history, but I could have asked more questions and possibly I could have read between the lines better. Maybe if I had asked more questions up front and really drilled down into the answers, I would have known that there were some fairly large issues that might have caused some problems down the road and maybe the job that I thought was so good really wasn't Now. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this recently because my time with this organization has now come to an end. It's really a mutual decision. I've gone on with other opportunities that are taking a lot of my time and with this position that I just left, they just don't have the resources to pay me for the work that needs to be done to fundraise to keep the agency going, and that's okay. I'm okay with that. It's really a better situation for everybody.
Tracy:But, like I said, I've been thinking a lot about this and I question myself was I being naive? I mean, was that even a possibility? I've lived a lot of years on this earth and I don't think I'm that naive anymore. I'm not jaded either. I think I'm realistic about things and I do try to see and read between the lines. But I feel like I missed some things.
Tracy:I think it's important sometimes to dig a little deeper, people and really stretching past where most people would, to really understand and dig deep into the situation, right To understand, and that takes a lot of energy, takes a lot of energy. I mean a lot, let's face it, and sometimes you're rewarded for that and sometimes you're not. Sometimes you're just spinning your wheels. I mean there comes a time when you have to realize that maybe your good ideas aren't going to be listened to, maybe your good ideas are falling on, as my mother would have said, deaf ears, maybe the people involved aren't ready to listen to you, maybe the people involved feel like they have the answers already and the answer's for them and you know what. That's okay. That's okay. That's okay. I don't always have to be the one with the right answer and I don't have to always be the one to solve the problem. I get that Especially as I've gotten older.
Tracy:I mean, when I was younger, I was more, shall we say, on fire. Right In my 30s I didn't really know what I was doing. I mean, I look back on it now yeah, I knew more than I did in my 20s. Sure, in my 40s I really started to come into my own, I really understood a lot more about how things worked and I understood more about my life and I had more confidence. And my 50s the same.
Tracy:But now that I'm in my gulp 60s, I feel like, you know, I can tell somebody something, I can provide my observations, but if people don't want to listen to my advice or my insights my insights then it's time for me to move on. Then it's time for me to move on and it's time for me to use my energy and thinking power in a more productive way, right? But yeah, I really have thought about the question of was I naive in this situation? Did I put too much trust in this group of people? Did I not ask enough questions? I like to think it was just an unfortunate series of events. Sometimes, when things happen in this world. They play out in a way that you couldn't really have predicted. But once things start in motion, one thing happens after another and you get to a place where you could never have guessed that that was going to be the end result. Looking back on it, I think I know what the pivotal moment was and what the pivotal decision was that really caused a major breakdown in the organization. But I'm not really sure and in the end I guess it doesn't really matter, because I've moved.
Tracy:Learned in this is well, no matter how old you are, you never stop learning from your situations. You never stop learning from your experiences, and it's a good thing to reflect on things that have happened to you. I try not to reflect too much. I mean, I'm not going to obsess over this, it's over. My husband asked me after I had the last scheduled Zoom call. He said well, was it bittersweet? And I said no, not really. It's just time to move on. I do tend to get emotional about endings, but that wasn't the case this time, so I know it was the right decision. Am I sad or upset with myself for staying on after the big event that happened? No, I'm not, because I did learn, and I did have good intentions. I wish that I could have provided more assistance to the organization, but that just wasn't the way it worked out, so I don't have any regrets.
Tracy:I think that's a really important thing to mention is not having regrets, setting yourself up for well in any situation, whether it be personal or professional, with your family, with your friends, people you don't know work environments, school, whatever Doing what you need to do so that you don't have any regrets and I think you know what I'm talking about. If you sit and think about it for a while, you know what you need to have in your mind to make sure that you don't have any regrets going forward After you walk away. That you've done everything that you can do, that you've communicated everything that you can communicate, that you've put yourself out there in a way that's positive, in a way that is justifiable, if you will, that you've offered yourself, you've offered your talents, you've offered your heart, and if those things aren't accepted, then you shouldn't have any regrets and you also shouldn't necessarily be sad about it. So there you have it. That's my dialogue on insights and no regrets for today, the beginning of February 2025, here we are heading towards who knows what, spring. Let's think about spring. I'm ready for spring, I'm ready to get rid of the cold weather. But, folks, that is all I've got for today.
Tracy:Next week, we'll tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me platforms you might listen on and consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page Only Child Diaries or Facebook Only Child Diaries Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Tracy Wallaceace and these are the only child diaries.