The Only Child Diaries Podcast

The Brochure on My Husband's Falls

Tracy Wallace Season 4 Episode 5

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A cascade of pain, four falls, and a fractured rib turned a quiet week into a high-stakes navigation of hospital systems, protocols, and hard choices. We walk you through the unvarnished reality of being a caregiver when the lights of the ambulance meet the glow of Halloween decorations, the dog won’t stop barking, and the chart misses the most important details. From the ER intake to a five-day stay that demanded constant vigilance, we dig into medication mix-ups, the pharmacist “went home” moment, and why hydration and wound care can’t be afterthoughts for patients with fragile kidneys and complex histories.

The diagnosis—two bulging discs—forced a pivotal decision between surgery and conservative care. We share how a trusted endocrinologist stepped in to coordinate with a young spine surgeon, why steroids made sense but required tight glucose management, and how we pushed to secure prescriptions before discharge to avoid a weekend without relief. If you’ve ever had to repeat the same facts to every new face who enters the room, this story will feel familiar: advocacy isn’t optional; it’s the backbone of safe care.

Back home, we reset the house for recovery—clearing paths for a walker, coordinating a visiting nurse and PT, and trying to rest while fighting off a cold, wrangling taxes, and protecting inflatable Halloween classics from the rain. Along the way, we offer practical, field-tested tips: keep a one-page medical summary, build a go-bag, script your must-say lines, and create a backchannel with at least one clinician who will actually pick up. Press play for honesty, small wins, and a roadmap for anyone caring for someone they love in a system that doesn’t hand out how-to brochures.

If this resonates, follow the show, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs a solid dose of validation and a few hard-won tactics.

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Tracy:

Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure life? That you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulting. Doing simple. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. Today I'm gonna give you an update on where we are. Last week I took a break because my husband was having some pretty significant health issues, and he ended up going into the hospital where he was all week. So it was just too much for me to uh do an episode, and I wasn't running ahead of schedule as normal. Hope everybody had a good week or a good two weeks since my last episode. So what happened was that my husband had uh quite suddenly some severe back issues, some back pain, and it was traveling down his leg. We thought maybe it was an irritated nerve or something like a pinched nerve, maybe, because of, you know, it going down his leg. He would spend most of the time in bed, and when he did get up, it uh well, he needed help. Um, it was a slow process, and he needed assistance, as much as I could give him. But in the space of the 10 days before he went into the hospital, he ended up falling four times, yes, four times, in the house. Uh very short walk from the bedroom to the bathroom or the bedroom to the den where we watch TV. Um, because he felt like he had weakness in his leg or he had a lot of pain. He just he used a walker, but he just couldn't um sustain his upright position. And if you hear some nasal congestion, I seem to have picked something up probably at the hospital. Um, so the third time he fell. Now you have to remember that my husband is a little bit stubborn, and understandably, because the whole hospital um experience was stressful and complicated for both of us, not just for him. I mean, definitely for him, but it's also complicated and frustrating for me as well. And I'll tell you why. So the third time he fell, he uh, and and rem and remember, he's falling and he already has significant back pain, right? So the third time he fell, he felt like he had maybe fractured his hip. Um, and I just told him, you know, I can't adequately care for you here. And as much as I didn't want him to go to the in the hospital, I felt like he should go. But he still wasn't convinced. And so the next day, and and and going back to um bed later on that night, he was fine. So I, you know, very again, very complex. But the next day he tried to get out of bed and he did, but he made it about, I don't know, uh six or seven steps and he fell again. And this time he said he really hurt himself. He felt like he had broken a rib. And um it ended up that he did. So he uh being in more pain, um, he felt like he really didn't have anything left. And I talked to him about calling the ambulance, and he agreed. And he's had negative interactions with uh paramedics and firemen, and as much as we are very grateful to them for all that they do and all that they've done to save our neighborhoods, especially with the Eaton fire, I I can't discount the interactions that he's had, right? So totally understand. And sometimes, um, you know, when you're not feeling good and you have a negative interaction, it it just makes it worse. So I did call the ambulance. I asked them not to run the sirens because that just makes it more of a more of a uh of a show. Um, but they did run the lights, and we live on a relatively narrow street, and they came up. Now this time they were very nice and they were very respectful with him, and he wasn't feeling well, but it went it went well enough. Um and the neighbors started texting me because they saw the lights, and we have remember now we have all of our Halloween lights out. So it was it was quite uh quite a production of lighting out there, um, with the flashing, the the engine and the ambulance going. So anyway, there were seven guys in our house between the firemen and the paramedics, and our dog, I put our dog out in the backyard, and she was barking constantly. Our cat was in the bedroom meowing. Uh, everybody was everybody had something to say. And they did end up getting him up. Uh, they put him in a transport chair instead of flat out on a gurney. And um I I asked that we go to a hospital that's just a little bit further because it's part of KECUSE, where we've been before. Um, they said that no, we had to go to the nearest hospital, which is Glendale Adventist, which is a hospital that he's never been at. Um, and and in the end, that's where we went. And so uh I'll just say that our experience at Glendale Adventist overall was not the most positive. It's difficult because Bill has so many medical issues, and we have assembled a team of really excellent doctors for him. His endocrinologist is excellent, and she is one of the premier endocrinologists, I'm sure, in the country. She's very well known in the medical community. And we have a nephrologist, a kidney doctor who is um also an excellent doctor who operates as his primary care physician, but neither one of them is affiliated with Glendale Adventist. Um, and you know, granted, my my dad was at the hospital, my mom was at the hospital, my grandparents were at this hospital, but this is my husband. And again, multiple medical issues, but also things have changed, I think, since COVID. Things have changed within the medical insurance and Medicare uh platforms. And for instance, when we were in the ER and it was nighttime, and he usually gets his medications around dinner time. He had not gotten them. And I was talking to the nurse about that, and she said, Yes, we'll we'll get that all sorted out. And then she had to get them in the computer, and and then they had to dispense them because it's the hospital, and they don't like to have you bring them or give them or whatever. Um, so then about midnight, she said, Look, um our pharmacist went home. Can you go home and get the medications? And I was shocked because this is a big hospital. This is not a little rural hospital, this is a big hospital. They have apparently a premier stroke center, they have a big ER, it's it's a big hospital, okay? And they were telling me that the pharmacist had gone home. That was the beginning. Um, so I I did. I went home, I got his pills, I came back. But through the experience of our stay, and and he was there for five days, we literally had to fight for and with everything. He's been on certain medications that have not worked for him, and so his doctors have prescribed alternate medications, and the medical team put him on the medications that did not work for him. And I had to fight to say, look, we've already been down that road, we have used that medication, he's had that medication, and um you need to put him on this. This is what he's on at home. So I just got really tired of fighting. I got tired of standing up for everything that that we had, everything that he needed. In addition, because he has uh fragile kidneys, he needs to stay hydrated. And they were not giving him Ivy fluids, and so I had to fight for that. It it just oh, and he also had a wound on his side because he had used the heating pad for his back too much, and he had gotten a blister and it turned into a wound. And we were again, we were told in this big hospital system there was one wound care specialist. One, not a department, not a team, but one wound care specialist. So being admitted on Monday and staying till Friday, we finally saw the wound care specialist on Thursday. I I don't really blame the people that work there. Most of them, most of the nursing staff and the nursing assistants were great. Some of them were better than others. Some of them really went above and beyond. Most of them were were very good, but some of them went really above and beyond. Um, but some of these things just drive me crazy, right? Like the one wound care specialist and the pharmacist going home. I I don't know what to do with that. I mean, what if you were you came into the ER at three o'clock in the morning and you couldn't get any medication because the pharmacist was at home? I don't understand that. So uh I I don't know. So what happened is that my husband, through all these tests, uh, we discovered that he has two bulging discs. I don't know if that's the same as herniated discs because I never got to see the spinal surgeon. I had to stay home in the morning, and that's when he came to see my husband. But uh it was surgery or it was conservative care. One thing that we can do is put him on steroids. Now, because oral steroids, because he's a type 1 diabetic, he's insulin-dependent, uh, you know, steroids, oral steroids, or any steroids, are going to raise his glucose significantly. So not having access to our doctors, and I would meet the doctors and I would look them up and try to find out if they were good doctors, if they were so-so doctors, right? But our endocrinologist, again, being the being the fantastic woman that she is, um, allowed me to, you know, text her, email her. Um, she ended up because she really cares. I mean, she's every doctor should be like, I mean, she's she's exemplary. She uh ended up talking to the spinal guy who, you know, was great, but I found out that he had just started practicing a year ago. He had finished his residency through USC. Um, but again, new, young. My husband is, you know, a special case. Everyone's a special case, but my husband is really a special case, right? So she ended up having a conversation with him. And she told us that we should go the conservative route. That would be better for Bill, steroids, we could do a steroid injection. And so we told the nurse that, and he told the main doctor, and once you tell them that you're not going to do surgery, you're out. Um, so our options that day, that was Friday, was uh go to rehab or go home. So that was like the main thing. Okay, and we wanted to go home. So I asked if we could get the oral steroids from the nurse, and he said we would have to go through the doctor's office. I didn't even have the doctor's office information or the phone number or anything, and it never showed up on the discharge, right? Either. I mean, in retrospect. And I I I felt I came in hot, okay? I told him, I said, look, if you can't get me the oral steroid prescription, I'm not taking him home. I mean, it's ridiculous. It it's a Friday night, it's gonna be a weekend, I'm not gonna be able to get the doctor, I'm not gonna be able to get the steroids. I mean, that's it's it's ridiculous, right? And I don't know if that nurse had an issue with it or not. It ended up that it was the shift change coming up soon. And the next nurse, we were only with her for an hour. She did get the oral steroids. I mean, our endocrinologist ended up uh calling in the order, which I'm so grateful to her. So we got we got two, but um, I mean, come on, you know, come on, help me out a little bit. Um so frustrating, so tired of arguing and so tired of advocating. And, you know, when you're in the hospital, my husband also had a UTI, you get a little confused. He didn't sleep any of the time that he was there. He catnapped, but he had a roommate, he was in a semi-private room, and they come in at 4:30, 5:30 to take your blood in the morning. Um, there's constant beeping of the IVs and the machines and the noise in the hall. He didn't sleep, and he was getting delirious. So anyway, so he's home and you know, on to the next chapter of healing, but I'm glad to have him home. I I I did get sick somehow. I'm not happy about that, so much to do, but that's where we're at. Um, I did talk to the tax guy today, finally. He returned my call. Um, we set up a meeting for today, and the taxes are done. I have to look at them. Um, they're due in a few days, but that's worked out and Halloween. My Halloween decorations are up. I'm gonna post that on social media for you to look at. Um, but it's gonna rain tonight, uh, which is rain and my my inflatables and all my animatronics. Oh, dear lord. So um it's getting chillier too. So I'm gonna go out there and try to cover up what I can. I cover I covered up the horseman last night. I went out there and um covered him with a big plastic tarp so that he doesn't get wet. I didn't know if it was gonna rain early, so I didn't want to take a chance. And I have to get some uh stuff in the garage still, but I'm getting there, and then the nurse is gonna, the visiting nurse is gonna come today for the first time. Uh, and things are rolling along. I'm tired, I'm exhausted mentally and physically, but uh things are starting to recover, things are starting to go back to status quo. So that's uh that's what I have to share with you, and I I hope next week things are gonna be a little bit better. I hope I'm gonna feel better because I don't feel I don't feel that good right now. Um but I'm just trying to rest as much as I can and sleep. I took a couple cat naps yesterday and uh taking my decongestion and uh and but I'm cleaning because I have to clean because the visiting nurse is coming and the PT are gonna come and there's gonna be a lot of people in and out, and you know, I'm I'm not the best at cleaning and keeping up with things. And so a lot of stuff had really kind of uh stacked up in the house, and I got rid of a lot of you know extra boxes that I didn't need. I gotta make space for him to be able to walk around and do his PT uh eventually. So, and also if I change too much, the cat gets really upset. He doesn't like change, so uh, but he does like space. So that's that's where that is. So anyway, next week I hope that I'll have good news for you. No more falls, uh, and next week we'll we'll we'll tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me. If you like this episode, please follow the Only Child Diaries Podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on. And consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page, Only Child Diaries, or Facebook, Only Child Diaries Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Tracy Win, and these are the Only Child Diaries.

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