Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life? That you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulthood while doing so with humor and light. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. Today I'm going to talk about things that I have to do versus things that I want to do. This is a topic that my husband came up with last night because he was telling me that I do too much. I do too much around the house. I do too much because he sees that I get tired and that my back hurts. And so I told him, honey, there's things that I have to do every day, and there's things that I want to do. And I can't cut out the things too much that I have to do. And I don't want to cut out the things that I want to do, right? So he said this would be a perfect topic for an episode, which I tend to agree. But let's backtrack a little. Now, if you've been listening to the last few episodes, you know that my husband had a nerve block back in November, and just this last week or so it's been wearing off. The good news is that we had a video call with one of his doctors, and he prescribed some more traumatol, which is something that he can take. And if he takes uh enough of it in time before he gets up, out of bed or out of, you know, off the sofa, that he's not in pain. The bad news is that in order to schedule another nerve block, we have to actually go to a new doctor, which is about 15 miles away, which means that he has to sit in the car. And that's going to be at least a two-hour round trip. Plus, I have to get him up to the office, which means me pushing a wheelchair, um, maybe up some of an incline. Um, so that's something I have to do. That's in that category. But that'll be this week. That'll be something that I have to do. Okay. There's no two ways around that. So hopefully after that they can schedule it. Um, we'll have to come back for it because it'll be an outpatient procedure that has to be approved, authorized, whatever. So that's gonna be, you know, um, another car trip. But the good news is that at least for the foreseeable uh short-term future, it's something that he can live with and he can get through and get by without being in excruciating pain. Okay. So there are things that I have to do every day, like taking care of the house, taking care of the pets. We have a cat, there's litter boxes, there's litter. Um, yeah, sure, I don't have to take the trash out every day, right? You know how that goes. Eventually, you're gonna have to do things like that. I do have to clean up the cat's litter box every day because otherwise he gets a little upset. Um, I have to make sure that my husband gets around in and out of bed um safely. I have to get him food because he can't really get out to the kitchen. He couldn't carry his own food uh back from the kitchen because he is using the walker. So there's things like I do get groceries delivered now because it's just so much easier. Uh, and I get most food delivered, but we get things that are heavy. Uh they deliver heavy things like water, drinks, juice. Sometimes they'll pack it in one bag. Uh cat litter gets delivered, but I still have to get those things in the house, and I have to move them around in the house. So there's things, again, that I have to do that I can't cut out of the process. So it started raining again today, uh, here, and it's gonna rain for I don't know, three or four days, and there's gonna be a lot of rain. There was already a lot of rain today, so there's things that I had to do to get us prepared outside for the rain. My car is leaking water. I did the best that I could again with a tarp on it, but I checked it uh early this afternoon, and there's water inside. There's still water inside, so I'm not getting what I need to to stop the water coming in. And um, so that's that's disappointing. And I was sick during most of January, starting really after the first of the year. Bill was sick, and then I got sick right after that. So I have the uh pile of the Christmas inflatables literally in a pile. And so I worked on that yesterday. I got three or four of them in the boxes. I had to clean them off. They were pretty dirty, and some of them were wet still because the plastic was you know not allowing them to dry. I also found I also found snails hiding in them in the folds of the yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why they gravitated towards the inflatables, but they did, so I had to sit there and pull the snails off. And uh that was that was fun. So I got some of those done. That was something that I wanted to do, but still it's what February, the middle, middle of February. So um I wanted to do that. I'm like halfway through that process, so uh, and you know, there's things I want to do in the yard, but I just didn't have the strength, the energy, the time this weekend uh to do most of what I wanted to do. So, and today is President's Day. Uh when I'm recording this, it's just a holiday. It's a day off. And I woke up today and I got kind of sick. Um it was a GI thing. And so I'm just I'm just gonna take it easy. Uh uh the other challenge that I have is you know, one of my goals when Bill first had the back pain issue, right? The nerve block before the nerve block. One of my goals, and even after the nerve block, uh, with all the hospital trips and stuff, one of my goals was to just sleep as much as I could every day. Because people will tell you, if if for those of you who are have never been in this situation with a loved one, um, you know, you'll say, Well, you need to take care of yourself first. Okay, fair enough. I understand why you would say that. But if you have not been in this situation, you don't know. You don't know what it's really like and what you're up against. And one of the good things was I got to see a friend of mine on the weekend who has gone through all this with her husband. Um, not the same thing, but she's been a caregiver to him. She donated a kidney to him. Uh, he's had, you know, multiple medical issues. She supported him through it all. And so I I told her about this. I said, you know, people look at me and they say, well, remember to take care of yourself first. And she just rolled her eyes, she gets it. So there's there's really a limit to how much you can really take care of yourself. Yes, I agree. And I'm not trying to discount that. But when it's just the two of you, there's a limit to what you can really do, uh, how you can take care of yourself. So anyway, back to my initial thing here was that my mantra was I'm gonna try to sleep as much as I can every day because I know that exhaustion causes so many more issues, right? So, fast forward to right around the time I got COVID, uh, and Bill was still doing well uh with his back, our neighbors, who we love, you know, started to build the second story on their house. And that has made it extra challenging in terms of sleep because they're trying to push through, they're trying to get this project done, they're trying to put their house back together again. They've they've had to move out. There's no house. It's only uh, you know, it's down to the studs. And they've been working on it now for what six, seven weeks going on. And uh, you know, there's a lot of stuff to do, but it's made a tremendous amount of noise. They start super early every day, 7, 7.15, 7.30 in the morning. Uh sleep is impossible. One of the good things about it was that they weren't working on the weekends. So Saturday I could get some sleep. Sunday morning I get up early and I go to work uh at the hardware store. So Saturday was really my day to catch up, and the last two Saturdays they've been working. Uh, maybe because of the rain. I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna get mad because again, we love our neighbors and they're our heart, and we are fully supportive of them doing this project, but it's going to it's going to kill me. It's going to literally kill me. So today being President's Day and the fact that it poured rain, they are not working. And I'm so grateful. Uh, because yesterday was Sunday, and again, I had to go to work, but uh, they cut down one of the trees, and that that went on all day with the buzzsaws and the chipper and the noise and the all day, all day. So um very grateful. I got to sleep today, but then I woke up not feeling great. And at one point I went out to the kitchen to get some stuff to help me, and literally I almost fainted. The room started going dark, and uh I just tried to hold on because Bill can't get out of bed to come get me, and the cat's not, you know, the cat's not gonna come and I mean he was very I could tell he was concerned, and he stayed with me, and he came he came up and he bit my arm at one point. Uh, I think he was trying to, you know, keep me keep me conscious. So I appreciated that. He stayed with me the whole time. But um it's um the dog could care less, but no, the cat, the cat was concerned. So anyway, feeling better now. Trying not to eat too much because I don't want to push it. Um anyway, and I also I went out to the trash can area, and we have a trash can. It's an old-time trash can, right? And I don't have a lid for it, so it's been collecting rainwater uh through the last couple months of rain, and I noticed something, uh-oh, floating in it, and yes, it's a squirrel. So I decided to go back out there and dump it. I don't know if the squirrel got sick. Was the squirrel trying to get a drink? Did the squirrel just, you know, fall out of the tree above it and drown because he couldn't get out? I don't know what happened. I feel really bad, but I don't want that to happen to anything else. So I dumped out the water, and now there's a dead squirrel on the side of the yard. Um and the gardener's probably not gonna come this week because it's gonna be too wet. So I'm either gonna have to keep looking at the dead squirrel, maybe something will come and take him and eat him. Uh, you know, the great tree, the great circle of life. Or uh or I'll have to pick him up myself, which I don't really want to do. Uh I do a lot of stuff, I do a lot of stuff, but that's not something that I want to do, by the way. That would be something that I'd have to do. Uh that would be in that category. And that would not yeah, and unfortunately he landed in a place where I can't pick him up with a shovel. Uh, and his little eyes are bugging out because he didn't die with his eyes closed. So that's that's unfortunate. And I feel bad. I don't want to ask one of the I mean, is it I mean, I feel like I'm my own I'm my own woman, right? I'm a I'm a strong, capable woman. I should be able to pick up a dead animal, but I just I always hate that part. I just that's this is the downside of having your own house and you know uh and having to do things like this. There's things that die on your property and then you have to deal with them. And I just I I don't wanna I don't want to cave in and have to ask a man for support on this, but I feel like I might I might end up doing that anyway. Um and maybe he was sick, and if there's this whole there's a whole host of issues around this problem, and I don't want to have to deal with any of it, but anyway, uh yeah, that's yeah, there's a lot, see, there's a lot going on, but anyway, there's the things that I have to do, and there's the things that I want to do. Um yeah, and you know, I think Bill's point to all this is that I do too much and my back hurts, and that's not really why my back hurts. Well, my back hurts because I have arthritis, and um there's no amount of resting or or taking it easy that's gonna make my back feel better. Movement is what makes my back feel better, and you know, uh walking the dog, and uh what I really what I really should be doing, I think, is exercise, doing my back exercises, whatever those might be. Um probably going to physical therapy, probably going to see the doctor. That's what I need to do. And what I need to do is have an MRI, but I'm terribly claustrophobic. Uh and that's gonna be rough. So anyway, that's that's where I'm at. That's and that would be something that I that I would that I should do. Where where does that fall into? That's not something I want to do. That's something that I have to do. Anyway, um, I digress. So that's that's where we're at. Next week, we'll tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me. If you like this episode, please follow the Only Child Diaries Podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on. And consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page, Only Child Diaries, or Facebook, Only Child Diaries Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Tracy Wallett, and these are the Only Child Diaries.