Welcome And The Big Question

Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life? That you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulting while doing so with humor and like. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries Podcast.

Why Birthdays Should Be Yours

Today I'm gonna talk about my birthday. My birthday was this week. And well, it was a day. Let me just say that. Sometime in my life, I discovered or I realized or I decided that my birthday should be my day. It should be my special day. It should be filled with whatever activities or things that I wanted it to be or do, right? And I've carried on with that theme through my life. I I guess I felt as if I I did a lot of things for other people. I felt like it was easy to get caught up in kind of overlooking my birthday. But really, your birthday is your day. And that's how I've always felt about it. It's a special day for you. So um I took the day off from work and which was hard to do. It's hard to do because I do like to work. But um last week was very stressful and very busy, and I was really pushing it with my job, and I know I was just kind of exhausted from all that, plus taking my husband to physical therapy and all the things that I had to do. And I on top of all that, it was very hot here in Los Angeles, it was in the 90s all week. So I felt like I did need to take some time for myself. Um, and I also took Monday off. So uh that was nice. So I had like a three-day weekend, holiday weekend. And so my birthday itself, um I I I kind of had lower expectations though, because my husband has been recovering from his herniated discs, and he's been I've been really proud of him because he's been doing his exercises and gaining strength, but at the same time, he's not back fully where he wanted to be or where he was, right?

Knott’s Plans With Lower Expectations

So um we kind of, I mean, it was in my head, but he said, you know, do you want to go to Knott's Berry Farm? And obviously doing the full amusement park visit trip, etc., is not in our cards um because he's only really started to be walking recently. But we could go and we could just eat. Um, and that's kind of what I thought we would do. We would eat at the fried chicken restaurant outside in the front. But we got there and he said that he, I mean, we talked about it before. He said that he wanted to go in. He does that in stages, like I drop him off at the front drop-off area, and then I go park and then I come back. And then you have to go through a line for the metal detector, and then we sat down again, and then we went through the ticketing line with the QR code, and we because we're pass holders, we got inside, and then we sat down again, and then I went and got my happy birthday button so I could wear that, and um, then we went and we went to one of the first areas um where one of our favorite musical groups play, and so we sat in there and we watched that show because it was just gonna start soon. Did that, and that that was a good thing. Um, but I I felt like he was starting to get tired, his back was getting tired, so we walked out, and then once we got to the entrance to that concert area, he said, Um, I gotta sit down. So um I found him a place to sit, but it was starting to get a little iffy, and then he started to get grumpy. And so I left him because it was also after a week of you know 90 degrees weather, it was cooler, and I hadn't brought jackets for us, so I went to go find something to buy so we could not freeze to death and get sick. And by the time I got back, he was super grumpy and out of sorts, and um I, you know, I I don't buy into that. So um he had also moved to a place in that area where he he didn't want to be on a picnic table, he wanted to be off the picnic table because he didn't want to disturb other people. So he was sitting at a very low point and it was hard for him to get up, and so I moved him to another place, and then he was just very irritable. And and that's fine. I know he didn't feel good, but I just I'm not gonna buy into that. I'm not gonna put up with it. So I walked away. I walked around, I went and got myself a jacket, I had gotten him a jacket, and um then I came back and his lower back was very tired. It wasn't like he was sitting up against something. So um I went to get him up, and then it was clearly obvious to me that he was not going to be able to walk out to the front. I mean, let alone the car. I didn't, I wasn't expecting that, but he was not gonna be able to walk to the front or to the restaurant or anything like that.

Asking For Help When Things Break

So um I positioned him on a fence and I went, we were right by the um place where they rent the wheelchairs, and I went up to these two staff members and I said, Can I rent a wheelchair and take him out to the parking lot? And they said, No, you can't take the wheelchair off the property. And I said, Look, here's the situation, and they said, Well, we can escort him to the um front pickup area. So I said, That's great. Because I didn't want him to fall, and I'm assuming if he had fallen, they would have just called 911, and that that would have been a really complicated, bad situation. So we did get him in a wheelchair, he was more comfortable, and um then because our car was so close, because I don't park out in the outskirts, I park very close, they asked for me to push him, which was fine, and they allowed us to take him directly to the car. Thank God, because if I had had to go get the car and then circle around to the pickup place, and then I would have reparked, and then I could have gone and get takeout chicken, and then you know, I just was like, let's just go to Arby's or something. So anyway, they allowed us to just take him directly to the car, and they escorted us, and um, so that was much better. Got him in the car, and so he was safe. There's always a workaround. Um, there's always something if if you don't have the resources, you don't have the ability to um have what you need right then, you you ask for help. And or that's what I do, right? You ask for help. So was it the ideal day? No. Um, I knew going in, I had I told myself to have low expectations of the day, but I did get him out. I told him that I was very proud of him, I am very proud of him, because I didn't think that he'd ever be able to go back to Knott's Berry Farm, and he did, and he's got something to build on. And as I reminded him, he's really only had about six or seven weeks of physical therapy. Um, and so I think he's made a lot of progress. But of course, he felt he felt bad, he felt embarrassed that he had, I guess, I don't know, shown weakness or been the weakling in public, but whatever. I, you know, I just I just choose to focus on the positive. I mean, that's that's that's me. I choose to focus on the positive and I choose to try to salvage what's left of my day and my birthday and make it positive and hold on to um my my dignity and my um my my make it make it good for me. Uh that being said, the driver's the there's good traffic, it's still 45 minutes to get home, had to unpack the car, get the plates out and all that, but take care of the cat, take care of the dog when we got home, all that stuff, make sure he got in okay, but um still it it was a good kind of tired, but I was still tired. And uh so overall not the best birthday in the world, but certainly not the worst.

Painful Birthdays And Grief Anniversaries

I think the worst birthday was when I turned 40. I had just I had just been riding the day or two before, and I had fallen off, and I had fallen on my side or something. And so when I woke up, I was in I was still in a lot of pain, but I felt my rib kind of I guess it must have been fractured or something when I fell. And so we were getting ready to go out, and I felt it kind of just you know pop, and I felt this excruciating pain, and I think it you know cracked, and so that was probably the worst birthday um that I've had because I had to go through the the day kind of in excruciating pain, but and that was 40. Uh so certainly not the worst birthday, but um, and you know, my birthday now is kind of overshadowed by the loss of our horse. It was the two-year anniversary this year, five days before. I try to compartmentalize those two things, it's still hard. It's still hard. I I will always miss him. And um it's hard to really think about him. Like now, I'm if I think about him much more, I'm gonna tear up, but I I will always miss him, and he's a big part of my heart was cut out that day, and and it always will be. Um so I tr you know, I try so hard to keep my birthday um whole, the whole area around my birthday happy. Um, but that that's a bit of a challenge, I will say. But anyway, you have to try to focus on the positive and you have to try to keep yourself or sh keep showing yourself the happy parts because otherwise it's it's too easy to get caught up in the

Make Your Own Day And Closing

sadness. Somebody once told me uh or said to me or around me, and it's true, sometimes you just have to make your own day. Because nobody else is gonna make it for you, right? And I think as only children, especially, you learn that early on, that um for whatever reason, if you're an only child, if you're single, um, but sometimes even if you're married, you're responsible for making your own day happy or making your own day whatever it is that you want it to be. So sometimes you just have to make your own day. So that's my message today. Um next week, we're gonna tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me. If you like this episode, please follow the Only Child Diaries podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on. And consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page, only child diaries, or Facebook, Only Child Diaries Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Tracy Wallace, and these are the Only Child Diaries.