Welcome And The Adulting Premise

Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life? That you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulting while doing so with humor and light. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. Today I'm going to talk about one of my codependent relationships. Yes, I I do. I I have a very codependent relationship with my cat. Or maybe it's my cat who's got a codependent relationship with me. Either way, it's a little bit more complicated than the usual human to animal connection. But I do love my Bubby. That's what we call him. Bubby came to us when we had our horse at the barn, and all of a sudden he just showed up. It turns out that one of the other trainers on the property dumped him. And I'm not sure if they put him in the place where we found him, because after all, the property is 75 acres. But for whatever reason, he showed up right in front of our horse's stall one day. And he and I kind of looked at each other and decided we were fast friends. But as is the case with many of the cats that show up at a barn, a lot of people take on the care of the cats and feed them, love them, pet them, watch over them. And so he, along with several other cats, became everyone's cat. Depending on who you talk to. He was either Miss Kitty, because we got his sex wrong, or he was Sylvester because he was black and white, like Sylvester the cartoon cat. Then when we realized that he was a boy, some of us started calling him Mr. Kitty, which didn't really suit him as well as Miss Kitty. Then when we realized who had actually left him at the barn, they told us that his name in his previous um residence, his name was Spanx. Yes, like the woman's undergarments, Spanx. Well, he and I, like I mentioned, had a special affinity for each other, and I tried to spend as much time there as I could with him, but he wandered and he did enjoy the company of other people. I would go on my way to work in the morning, and I would come at night after work and spend some time. And so he and I did spend a pretty good amount of time together. He hung out with me, but there was another cat who was also fixed who always chased him away. So what I started doing was gathering up this cat and leaving him in the feed room at night so that he would be safe and feel comfortable from the roaming cat who was always bossing him around, but also the coyotes, because there are a lot of coyotes on the property and in the surrounding area. And I think in the space of, oh gosh, was it a year and a half or two years or so, there were only a couple of nights that I didn't get him in the feed room. I remember the first couple of days that he was there, people would send me pictures of him in the morning, and he looked kind of confused about where he was, because the people would come to the feed room as early as 6:30 or 7 in the morning to feed the horses. And so he would be, you know, let out, or he would go out at that point, and he was kind of looking around like, where am I? At the time, we still had one bunny at our apartment, Holly. She was quite elderly, and so it just wasn't really feasible that we brought a healthy young cat home. But once Holly passed away, and with the permission of the other people at the barn who really loved Sylvester, Bill and I took the cat home with us. Of course, I had thought about taking the cat home at some point, once Holly passed away, but I wasn't sure if that would go over well with everyone else. At some point, somebody said to me, You can't take that cat. But once Holly passed away, people saw how lost I was without a pet at home. And so they agreed, and they actually offered that I should take the cat home with me. I still remember the day that Bill and I put him in a carrier, took him home. It was really hot that weekend. It was um, I think the third or so week in June. It was really, really hot. It was over a hundred degrees. And so we brought Bubby home. We didn't call him Bubby at the time, I don't think. Maybe we did. Um, so he came home and he just really luxuriated in the idea of being in a house and being on soft things like the bed or the carpet or the sofa, right? Anyway, he's he's always held a special place in my heart. Although he's not a cuddly cat. He's somewhat wild because he did live outside a lot. Anyway, recently with his health issues, and now he's oh gosh, this year I think he might be 15 or maybe he's gonna be 16. Um, but he's diabetic and he's also got asthma. But he's still pretty energetic and feisty. And like I said, he's not the cuddly kind of cat, but I know that he's extremely bonded to me. If I go outside in the yard, sometimes I can hear him crying for me at the door. Now, yesterday I had to go down to my office. Usually I work at home, but I have this event coming up, and so sometimes I do have to go into the office to do things there. It's just the way that it is. And I've talked to the vet and they have prescribed uh gabapentin for him, and and on the prescription it says for anxiety. Yes, I have an anxiety-ridden cat. So I did give him some gabapentin. He's not very good with pills, so it's transdermal. I put it on his ear, I clean off his ears, and I put it on his ear, and I gave him a full dose is like four clicks on the pen. It's uh like a cream. I gave him two clicks, and I felt like maybe he'd be okay. I was gone longer than I thought I'd be because the work just never ends. And when I was done, I called my husband when I got in the car, and he said, Well, Bubby threw up. And this is a thing that we've just been struggling with. Um, Bubby, maybe because of his diabetes, he drinks a lot of water. He's always been a good drinker, though, and he likes to play in his water. And so sometimes he'll drink a lot of water and then he'll throw it up right away, and he'll just throw up a big puddle of water. But I think sometimes when I haven't given him enough gabapentin, and we have people coming to the house, like say the plumber or the visiting nurse, or when we had the physical therapist, or we just have people for whatever reason coming to the house, I realized that he would start throwing up. So, in anticipation of these events, I tried to give him the gabapentin. When we first had the construction starting next door, and it was very loud every day, it really stressed him out. He's not a chill cat. Um, so it's it's really it's kind of discouraging, but he's just not a chill cat. You'd think that he would be. You'd think that he would have mellowed out in all these years, but he's but he's not, right? So um I had to give him gabapentin every day when they were doing the heavy construction. And so I guess I just didn't give him enough gabapentin yesterday. So I came home and Bill had said that he cleaned up one of the places where he threw up, but he but he left the other three because he wanted me to see what he had done. And, you know, I had been on the road a lot. It there was traffic, it was a long day. I had been in the office working nonstop, I hadn't taken a break, I hadn't really got had much chance to eat, and I was like, okay, well, thank you for that. I mean, it is beneficial to see what happened while I was gone, but still, um, okay, so either, you know, if Bubby gets stressed out, either he's having um an asthma attack or he's throwing up. And we so we just try to keep Zen here. We try to stay, we try to stay positive. Um, so I'm gonna have to go to the office more days in the coming weeks, and I'll just have to give him more medication. And I feel bad about that, but uh I can't take him with me. And I know that he misses me. So I came back and he greeted me and we we had our little chat. Bubby and I had our little check-in, and then he just calmed right down and he went to sleep. Bill said he kept pacing back and forth and looking for me. I I just feel bad because I wish I could tell him that I'm coming back or when I'm coming back, or try to send him an ESP message or something. I feel really bad, but there are times when I have to be gone. And you know, this is what I was worried about when Bill was in the hospital and and uh I'd have to be gone all day. But I but then I did medicate him. So um I have a codependent cat. He really relies on me, and I know he relies on Bill too. When when Bill was gone in the hospital, he he was always looking for him, and he he knew that something was was wrong with the household, as did the dog. So pets are very intuitive and they're very connected to us, even if they don't show it, even if they don't like howl or cry or something, you know, they're used to their routine and they're used to us being there with them. And I think that that's very special, but at the same time, it's I feel really guilty and I feel bad that I can't always, I can't always be there for my cat. Um, but I'm very connected to him. And this is one reason why, you know, I love to go places and I love to travel, and I'd like to take some short trips to Vegas or Palm Springs, let's say. Um, but I I don't feel like I can be away from him that long, you know, it'll stress him out too much, and he's more important to me than um than me going on a trip. As much as I love it, he's more important to me. So there you go. Um so that's all I've got for today. Now I'm gonna go pet my cat, give my dog a cookie, and next week, well, we'll tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me. If you like this episode, please follow the Only Child Diaries podcast on Apple Podcasts or other platforms you might listen on. And consider rating Only Child Diaries and writing a review. It helps others to find us. Please share it with a friend you think might like it as well. Visit my Instagram page, Only Child Diaries, or Facebook, Only Child Diaries Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Tracy Wallace, and these are the Only Child Diaries.