Welcome And Why We’re Here

Welcome to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. I'm your host, Tracy Wallace. Have you ever felt like you didn't receive the how-to brochure on life? That you didn't get enough guidance about major life issues? So did I. You don't have to be an only child to feel this way. In my podcast, we'll explore some of the best ways to better navigate adulthood. While doing so, with humor delight. Welcome everyone to the Only Child Diaries Podcast. Today,

The Real Cost Of Being Busy

I'm gonna talk about being busy. Now, you've heard people say it. You've said it yourself, right? I'm busy. I'm too busy. I'm so busy. I can't do that. I can't get to that. Don't ask me now. Ask me later. Let's check back in a couple of weeks. Let's check back tomorrow. Let me call you later, right? I'm too busy. Well, I'm gonna tell you, I'm so busy right now. I work for a nonprofit and I'm doing an event. It's a fundraiser, and the event is this week. And yes, I'm so busy. And I'll tell you why. Because part of it is just the nature of an event. There's a lot to do for any event. And um, you know, there's the there's all the details. The devil is in the details. But this year in particular, within, and I work remotely, so I'm used to doing a lot of my own stuff, my own administrative work. And in my last position, I was used to doing a lot of my own administrative work too. But this year, amongst the staff, there's there's very limited administrative capabilities, whether it's time-wise or uh skill-wise. And you know, they're they're willing, but they just don't always have the time to focus on um other extra work because just the nature of their position, uh, a lot of them work at the reception desk. So it's very difficult for them to focus on anything. Anyway, there's not a dedicated person that is assigned to my particular department, and that makes it very rough. And there is another uh co-worker who works pretty much at my level who assists with the event, but this year he had some family issues that came up and took one week, two weeks, three weeks, um, plus he had just taken a vacation week previously, so that really um impinged on what uh what was going on and what had to get done and and what I could pass off too. So um I I've been beyond busy. I've had to I've had to let some things go. I did have another person that was in the department that doesn't usually work on events help out, and that's you know, I'm so grateful for that. But it's it's been rough.

When “Too Busy” Feels Disrespectful

Okay. Um, so when people say that they're too busy to get back to me, when I send countless emails, when I call, when I text, and they still don't get back to me. And then when I finally hunt them down and they say, I've just been too busy, uh, that just doesn't fly with me. Because not only do I have my job, I have my husband who is for all intents and purposes, high maintenance. Okay. He has multiple chronic issues, health issues. He uh has ongoing appointments every week that I need to take him to. He has things at home that he needs help with. I need to go out and do the laundry because our our washer's still broken. Haven't been able to get that fixed, or I haven't been able to take out the cabinet and buy new machines. You know, let's not go there, okay? Um, and we have the the two pets. I have a very high-maintenance cat. He's diabetic and asthmatic. I love him to death, but I have to take special precautions with him. I have to give him his medicine every day. I have to make sure that he's okay um before I leave the house. I have to medicate him now because he gets too stressed out. So there's a lot to do. And our dog is is super high energy. You know. And I want to take care of myself too, right? I have things that I want to do for myself. Now, a lot of the extra stuff, like keeping the house picked up, keeping the kitchen picked up, doing the dishes, because we don't have a dishwasher, because we don't our cabbage tree is old school and there's not space for it. I still order groceries for delivery because I mean, thank goodness. I haven't taken my car in to get serviced. Uh, it's been a tough year, you know, with Bill's um herniated disc situation. If you're a regular listener, you know what I'm talking about. And I'm just keeping up with things, right? Paying the bills and keeping up with the gardener. And then there's this thing next door where they're building onto their house and there's been a lot of noise. And when I do work at home, sometimes I feel like I want to go next door and and say, shut up, right? Just shut up. But I I don't. Anyway, we love our neighbors. So when people say, I'm too busy, I'm too busy, it's like, well, I mean, what does it mean? Like the things that drop off from me are things that are just not that important. And you're saying that I'm not that important, or my request is not that important. And and okay, that's fine if we're personal friends, I guess, but if it's a work thing or if it's a professional thing, that does uh that just doesn't fly. I mean, you don't have a minute to reply to an email and say, look, I'm too busy. Can I get back to you next week? Or I can't do this, or sometimes there's just not even a reply. And that really ticks me off. Because I'm busy, but I try to I do try to touch base with everybody. I try to just say, look, I I'm drowning or whatever, right? So don't tell me that you're too busy. Because there's not, I get it, you know. I I get it too that different people have different levels of capacity. I get that, so um, but still.

Owning My Blind Spots On Help

But it's been a tough week, and I I just I wanted to just touch base on last week's episode. I was talking about my husband's hearing aid journey and how some people um don't want to get help for their issue, whatever it is. And I know I talked about, I was thinking about this later. I was talking about my um cataracts and how I'm scared to go get the surgery. And but I will, I mean, I will get it. Um can't even imagine going through that right now, but I try not to think about it. Um but I know it it kind of was like I was complaining about my husband, but not complaining about myself. And I recognize that. I recognize that, you know, I um I do have an issue with that. So I just want to come clean on that and tell you that I see that that's a weak spot, a blind spot. I get it. Um I'm trying, I'm trying. I'm trying to be brave. I don't want to be brave. Uh I hate things with eyes, my eyes. Um and what else?

Loss, Regret, And Reaching Out

I've um let's see. I'm kind of, you know, it's been kind of a sad week, I guess, in a way, because two people that I that I know, well, one person that I know, I found out today, he passed away last week, last month. He passed away last month. He was one of my old bosses, and I just found out today that he passed away. Um, I don't know how or why, or I know when. Um so I I'd been meaning to call him, touch base with him. I probably talked to him, I don't know, maybe once a year or something. I hadn't talked to him in probably several years. I mean, we weren't really super close or anything, but you know, we kept in touch, and when we talked, we had a good conversation, and he was always high energy. So that's kind of a shock that he passed away. He was 85, but I mean, still he was high energy. And then my best friend, uh, she lost one of her ex-husbands this past week, too. And yeah, it was her ex-husband, but they had been spending a lot of time together. He had been hospitalized, and so once a week visiting him in his retirement home, reminiscing, going over the past, and I think she really got so reacquainted with him that the loss is tough, and that and that hurts me um too. I I don't like to see her sad, but loss that's part of life, and uh it just I I try to reach out to as many people as I can. Obviously, I know a lot of people, but I do try to reach out, and I feel uh badly that I hadn't called this one friend that I used to work with um in a while. I'd been meaning to, but I just kept putting it off. So my message there is if there's somebody that you want to reach out to, don't wait. Uh call them, text them, email them, whatever, and just say, hey, I've been thinking about you. Because we just never know. Um, we just never know. So anyway, I've got to get back to work. That's all I've got for today and for this week, but um, next week, well, we'll tackle another topic together. I hope you'll join me. If you

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